I follow The School of Life on Insta. You could call me an early adopter actually, as I knew of it before it was cool to know. I knew of Alain de Botton in the way in which keen readers know of a secret on the cusp of no longer being a secret. I always thought that if you love the humanities and philosophy in particular, The School of Life is the place for you.
Often on Insta they publish carousels about relationships and love, and I mean love in the loosest sense. Not necessarily romantic love. But a lot of it is about romantic love. Despite all of its insights, The School of Life fails to acknowledge that many, many relationships simply suck hard. And there is nothing particularly insightful or intelligent to say about it, it isn’t about your childhood or about what you are used to or about how patient a person you are or all of these things and none of these things. Relationships suck.
I am no expert, even though I am an older person and technically I should be an expert, but I took life very seriously which means I never was a butterfly, social or otherwise. As such, you could call my experience limited. Despite this, what I have found is that the old adage no matter how many times you get married, you always marry the same guy is absolutely, impossibly true and spot-on. My God how true is that. I don’t know anything in the whole world to ring as true as that.
I have come to the conclusion, and this conclusion was not reached today, mind, but rather some years ago, that one is better off alone. Sure, get a dog or two, a cat, a horse, any animal you wish, but steer clear of relationships. You will tell me I exaggerate and maybe you are one of those people who haven’t had it as bad. I get it. Some people have pretty happy relationships. I do not resent them for it. I know a happy relationship is not the stuff of sci-fi, they do exist. But I also know our experiences inform our opinions and there is no point in denying it.
As such, I just want to be alone, anything else is too much hassle for zero return.