On 1 Jan 2024, when I first sat down to pen a post on here, I called this place Year of The Dragon. The inspiration was as obvious as it was self-indulgent; Lunar New Year would have ushered in the year of the Dragon and I am a Dragon and so let’s go with that.
But a few days in, or possibly a few weeks, I started to ponder on my last year of the Dragon, 2012, which is still impressed in my mind as one of the worst since my personal records began. Then I looked into my Chinese horoscope for this year and I discovered that when your year comes around, you normally do not have a positive one, quite the opposite, as you are supposed to have offended the gods of time. All of this stacked together, my own memories, my own horoscope reading as far from spectacular as one can expect, gave me cold feet.
It took me a few days to think of another name, Cut to The Chase, which I landed on predominantly because I intended to cut out the small talk [which I am awful at] and dive into the daily matter at hand. Over time, it all became a mix of grievances big and small, of memories big and small, of happy moments big and small, of trying to navigate illness and the resurgence of an existing chronic condition. I’ve just had a look at a random number of posts which I would qualify as talking about an awful lot of nothing and I cannot, for the life of me, remember the day or even the events I am recounting, despite having recorded them on here, date included.
Such has been this year of the Dragon; fundamentally full of promises, as every single new year always seems to be, but exceptionally stingy in delivering on those promises, despite an awful lot of focus, commitment, dedication, and repetition. Someone told me yesterday that when you are doing stuff and feel stuck you are still progressing. In a roundabout way, it is so true. I have produced an enormous amount this year, from videos, to candles, to drafts, to this very diary. All of this must not be belittled nor discounted.
And yet at times, I do find myself sitting here with my mind running away with itself and asking… this is all fine and fair but when will I exit the waiting place?
I have three Dragons in my family (2 golden & 1 fire) . Having three is...well, it's a lot, haha. For all three, 2024 has been excrutiatingly difficult. I tend not to follow horoscopes, but boy I can't wait for the Year of the Snake to come around so hopefully we can all get a break.